I can feel my adrenaline tapping me, like a hand pulling constantly at my sleeve. The air around me shared by too many goldfish, with the same amount of memory. We stared open mouthed at eachother, blankly.
Now something else was tapping my shoulder. Tap, tap, tap.
Breathe. I waved goodbye, dropping exercise books in a puddle near my car. Hearing tomorrows voices of disdain at my lack of care.
'Shit.'
See if I could be home in twenty minutes. If the road wasn't too jammed with eager escapees, tapping, tapping, tapping on their wheels and dashboard. Oh, sunshine. The weather couldn't make up its mind. Be back by 4.15, latest. Gratitude to mother-in-law, five minutes for daily gossip and who she bumped into in town today. Children in car, drama club for 5 '0'clock. Dinner ready by 6.0 and bedtimes for 7.0. Should let them go later now really, but head starts hitting books by 9.0. Marking takes so much longer in slow motion, with narcolepsy. Two hours tonight, tops. Lunch boxes and school bags checked for screwed up letters and invitations. Breathe. bed.
No time for a relationship. Husband has to make appointments like anyone else. I've Saturday morning free. Three days away. Is it really only the beginning of the week?
80 miles an hour down the A46. Therapy. Windblown hair like a rushed poem.
Rude gear box noises in front of the house.
'Excuse me.'
Shall I rebel and leave everything in the car tonight? Strut onto my drive like a carefree dayworker. Enter my life like a loaded credit card. Leave all my worries behind.
A small hand at the window,outside,desperate to draw my attention.
'Look Mummy, a rainbow!'
I get out of the car,turn, look up. Stand still and stare like a child.
A momentary archway to freedom.
